great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
tell me about the eggs
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
