he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
