There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
