dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
