she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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