i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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