nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize