we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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