Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
