Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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