I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i came on her dog
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize