Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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