I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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