u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
