Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
