it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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