the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
