Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
