what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
