Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
