and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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