Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
