i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
All I want is dick and wine.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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