Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
