I showed him my bush... on skype.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
