I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
