It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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