I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
