i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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