Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
