After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
now i know why i became what i already was.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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