first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
