the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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