So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
