It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
