Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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