holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
