First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
