thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
