The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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