Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize