Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
tell me about the eggs
Randomize