I look better un-naked...
I am spending my child support on dildos
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
