She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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