this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
