question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
