How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
