would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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