At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
