I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
