She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
whose parrot is this?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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