I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
