some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
