This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
