I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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