How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
