so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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