do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
