you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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